I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
