i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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