HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
