I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
