Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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