but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
