Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
