That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
