therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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