dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
