I seem to have left my pride at pride
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
