I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
