Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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