Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
