Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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