Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
