Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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