Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
