Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
