I cannot find my penis.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
