Where is the hickey?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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