That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize