Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
