i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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