At least make sure they are 18
Why
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
