Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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