weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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