Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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