I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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