when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
