every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
