Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
