But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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