yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
