Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
