i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
