I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
