I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
