you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
