im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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