when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
