Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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