Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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