so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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