my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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