Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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