i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
