I think i peed on brittanys purse
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
