He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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