We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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