fuck your aforementioned shoe
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
