I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
