Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize