Who did Billy Mays play for?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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