I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
