if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
