you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
