Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
