Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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