Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
look no pants
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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