What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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