I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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