All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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