Your tits are I can't wait for
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
